Stupid ponderings....

Here are some stupid bumper stickers I thought of:

I'm driving in front of stupid.

Don't even think about it.

Sometimes I can't even think of how little my brain is.

Why me, Lord?

Think not what you can do for yourself, but rather, what you can do for me.

Don't honk at me or I'll puke all over you.

Bumper stickers are lame.

My other car teleports me to the Delta Quadrant.

What? Where? (picture of Vinny Barbarino)

Let us not live in the yesterdays of our tomorrow.

I hope this road takes you home.

Video

So I was sitting here listening to itunes and all of a sudden I noticed I was sad. The music made me sad. Video Killed the Radio Star (the good one, by the Buggles) was playing. I felt a sort of sadness that I've never felt before-like I was feeling something someone else had felt when they heard the song. Maybe the song prompts a bad memory for someone else and I for some reason felt it. The song has always made me happy in the past, but for some reason it's making me ponder life right now. I can't help but think, "Video DID kill the radio star." I heard this was the first video to be played on MTV. That was when MTV thought all it would ever do is play music videos. It premiered when I was but a wee child, but I remember it so well. I was only about five or six, and I watched it all the time at my neighbor's house. Allison Fricke, her sisters, and I would all dance to the music-we loved Boy George, Duran Duran, and Michael Jackson. Now, MTV SUCKS with a capital S, followed by capitals u, c, k, and s. I am most sure that most in my generation would agree. Now the internet has killed the video, in a way. itunes killed the music industry in a way, too. I don't know-something killed good music. But then I think about how generations before tv became so popular remember radio, and maybe with fondness. Most people I know think back fondly on their childhoods. I know I do. Maybe the sadness was my child self grieving for my adult self, and that's why it felt so distant. I can hardly remember a lot of things from my childhood. I was just thinking that today. It's sad, really. Something killed my childhood. Growing up and out and away from all that kept me feeling happy and secure-that's what happens when a child turns into an adult. It's funny how kids and teenagers want to do things adults do, but adults never tell them just how horrible it is to actually be an adult. I guess it doesn't have to be so bad. When I think of how magical and mysterious life used to be, I do sigh a little for the loss of my innocence and youth. It was a fun time. It was a special time, and a time I will never get back. Yes, indeed, Video killed the radio star. Just as the star of my youth flickered out and died, too.

It is a good day ever

This is beautiful Mount Timpanogos, which majestically sits in my hometown of Orem, Utah. The trees here in Illinois are something to behold especially now in Autumn, but nothing reminds me more of the grandeur of God's creations as much as the Rocky Mountains. I miss them. I love the mountains, I love the rolling hills, I love the daffodils! I think God gave us these things to remind us how small we are, and at the same time how great we can become. The title of this particular blog is actually a quote from a three year old in my church nursery, Lily. Her mother spoke today in church telling us that Lily woke up one day and said, "Mom! It is beautiful outside, it is a good day ever!" I wish I could just once wake up and think with the enthusiasm of a three year old, it is a good day. Instead, I wake up wishing I could sleep longer. When I visited Mount Vernon, the home of George Washington, in Virginia, I noted how he arose with the sun every day. In his day there was no artificial light to keep him up late or television to get in the way of his own mind in the process of thinking or working. With all of our blessings of technology, we are (at least I am) easily distracted from doing things that truly uplift and help us progress. I am going to try each day to remember that now is the time to do something edifying. Now is the time to remember others and help them. What can I do to help myself progress or help someone else progress? I think I will go see if there is some way I can help my husband write his history paper. Toodles, and to all a Happy Sabbath.

Balloon Fiesta

This week is the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta, beginning with Mass Ascension on Sunday. These photos are some of my favorite things about Albuquerqe, New Mexico. Living there was delish!

The Sandia Peak Tram. I worked at High Finance in '97. The restaurant was located at the top of the tram, so I got to ride it every day that summer.

Wha?

I find it irksome and bothersome that I can no longer burn cds on itunes. Must technology always try to thwart my big plans? That's right, I've got big plans for some cds I wanna burn. Now I'm stuck with five failed attempts at burning and five now useless cds. I purchased the Judy Collins album, Judith, last night. I can't sleep at night anymore, but what's really bad is that when I can't sleep I download music. It's getting to be too costly. Anyway, late last night I bought Judy Collins, yada yada yada, now I'm stuck with no way of listening to it except on my computer. Technology is supposed to make things easier, and yet it seems to complicate things. I just wanted to make a copy of Judith for my car. I used to love listening to it as a child. I think my parents had the eight-track. I know we had the vinyl record of it too, and my sister Alison and I used to lip sync to it way back when we shared bunk beds. Wow, that was so long ago. Ali and I had some really fun times together growing up. I miss it. I miss playing slap jack and monopoly with her. We also had a board game where we rolled plastic pigs instead of dice. I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called. I will have to call her. I know that whatever the position the pigs landed in indicated how many points we got. There was the leaning jowler position and makin' bacon. That's all I remember. But it was fun. Great fun. Anyway, technology, huh? Whattayagonnado?

Let us Now Think

Lyrics to Hard Wired

by Tracy Chapman:

Your wants desires

Needs and wishes

Will be duly noted

Processed filed and cataloged

Labeled and encoded

Turned into sitcom dialog

And advertising slogan

We’ve got a box to put in your brain

Hard wired for downloading

All the secrets and the mysteries

You’ve been selfishly withholding

The dreams and hopes

That once were yours

Will now be collected and dispersed

So the first to come with cash to spend

Will be the first one served

We’ve got a box to put in your brain

Hard wired for downloading

All the secrets and the mysteries

You’ve been selfishly withholding

Make you think you like to be watched

Displayed on the auction block

Invaded in your own home

Stripped naked on the television

Humiliated in front of millions

We’ve got a box to put in your brain

Hard wired for downloading

All the secrets and the mysteries

You’ve been selfishly withholdin

We’ve got a box to put in your brain

We’ve got a box to put in your brain

We’ve got a box to put in your brain

We’ve got a box to put in your brain

Your wants desires

Needs and wishes

Will be duly noted

So, here is a great song that I think I know the meaning of, but I'm not sure. Part of me thinks it's about the power advertising has over us, but it could be more along the lines of Ray Bradbury's Farenheight 451. It may be alluding to reality t.v. and the joke it is. It may also be about Blogs and people like myself who expose way too much for a public domain. Her lyrics are pure genius. I'm so fascinated by her and artists like her who use music as a powerful tool to project a message. Isn't it awesome?

I'm going to start adding more poems, pics, lyrics, etc. with my commentary. Just because I want to. It helps me think.

Grudges I Harbor

Celebrities and their millions-it's enough to make me gag. Howcome celebrities get special treatment? It's just not something I can let go of. We as a nation are forced to see the headlines of the Enquirer or People Magazine any time we check out at the grocery store. It's a conspiracy, I tell you. Who really cares about the Spears or the Lohans? Not I. In fact, the more I read about them at the store, the more my abhorrence for them grows.
I have noticed, however, that they tend to get away with horrible behavior, and the worse they are, the more their popularity and fame increases. It's as though they get red carpet treatment not only on the red carpet, but for their whole lives. Case in point: Fred Savage. Now, I am a fan of The Savage, but there are things going on that still make me mad at society. For instance, I heard him say on a talk show once that he had dropped out of Stanford his senior year to start a sitcom (which, unfortunately never took off. Bless his heart, they needed to give him more to work with). At any rate, Stanford graciously allowed him to walk in graduation with his class despite the fact that he hadn't met the requirements for graduation. I know of no other regular students who are granted such liberties. I mean, really, people. I know it's Fred Savage, and he is a national treasure after all, but why the special treatment? Was he really one of the more scholarly students? Which leads me to question how it is he even got in to Stanford. I'll tell you how alright-it's because he's a celebrity; an adorable child actor. I can't imagine that he really got top notch academic tutoring while acting as a child. But Stanford went ahead and let him in anyway. I could be wrong. Perhaps he is a brainiac that noone knows about. Maybe there's a future Ben Stein in the making, but certainly not an Einstein.
Now:back to the tabloids. You know the Jolie-Pitt franchise is cleaning up. Why is it that they are plastered all over the media? More than any one person could possibly care to see? Despite all the drama going on with the pabarazzi, I have a sneaking suspicion that Brangelina are making bank on all those photos of them and their children, who, by the way, have no choice in the matter. And if not, they can sue for the millions they so desperately need. I know that in some cases there are people of interest to the public that really choose not to be photographed 24/7, but why is it that there are the usual celebrities on the magazine covers and all over the internet, and others are rarely seen? Are the Tom Hankses and Harrison Fords getting out of the limelight just by sheer luck? Again; I think not. Let's face it, too; they can probably afford to pay off the pabarazzi. I would guess that these muckraking mags could spoon feed any celebrity to the public, though. I feel I don't have a choice.
And why is news about these celebrities getting the headlines on msn and yahoo at all? Why do they take precedence over world news and politics; you know, the things that actually affect our lives. I know it's probably true, yet I hate to accept that the masses are really this stupid. Talk about the dumbing down of America. Yes, the media is tainted and definitely biased, but the root of that is money. Whatever sells, they sell.
And why oh why do celebrities get to make so much stinking money? Because they can read some lines in a script? So? Why millions? And not that I agree with equal distribution or anything, but couldn't what they get paid be cut down even a little bit to feed the poor? Or dare I say it, educate students about matters of import? I remember what celebs did during Katrina. Sure, lots of them pitched in to help out the victims, but I'm still wondering if maybe they could've given a little more. I heard that Sandra Bullock donated 1 million to the relief of Katrina victims. While I do think that is admirable, couldn't she have spared a bit more? I'm sure she's worth quite a bit more. Doing the math, I figure she makes roughly 8 million per movie (and that's a modest estimate, I'm sure), and let's say she turns out about 2 movies per year for even ten years. That's a whole lot of millions. Why exactly does Paris Hilton need any money? I realize she's probably in it more for the attention, but isn't it sickening that she's making money doing.....whatever it is she's doing?
You know that most celebrities have shady dealings too, whether it be with drugs or prostitutes, or shoplifting, and they seem to get away with it. Sure police may intervene at first, but you never hear of celebs doing any real hard jail time. All it does is make for more tabloid fodder, too. I'd say for most it probably boosted their careers.
And who are these people to tell us who to vote for? Most of them are half-wit, high school dropouts claiming to know anything and everything about politics and issues. Please. Won't they give me a break? They must be lobbied by whomever, just because when they speak people listen. Why? I'm not sure. Most of them hold no truths nor morals. They will bare themselves to the public for money. Hmm...that sounds strangely close to prostitution to me. Not to mention the horrible language and violence they put out there. Yeah, that's really heroic. That being said, I can't help but wonder if they ever feel any twinges of guilt ever. True, most are probably not as offended by nudity and language as I am, but I can't help but wonder if they ever feel bad deep down inside. Surely they don't consider that 92 seconds of themselves in a steamy, naughty love scene in a movie as their classiest moment. As far as the Gwyneths and Madonnas are concerned: England please take them off our hands for us. I beseech you. That's one export we don't ever need back. They can take their America-hating remarks with them. Johnny Depp, you were truly a traitor. It's a darn shame, too. I really liked you. So, in fine, this special treatment of those who merely provide some cheap entertainment never ceases to annoy me. I could go on and on, but I'd have already killed a tree by now if I were working with paper.

State Fair

Horse Dressage

Gabby rides again

Hercules (Unrelated to topic, but so cute!)

For fun we went to the State Fair in Springfield last Saturday. It was a state fair unlike any I'd ever been to before. We walked a lot, ate a lot, and then were sore and achy a lot. We saw horse competitions and arts and crafts exhibits. My favorite part was taking the tram ride across the whole park and seeing all there was to see that way. The Mid-West is known for its farming, and they take their state fairs very serious. We saw stables and animals a-plenty. Great fun for all. John somehow survived it all walking around with his broken toe. He wanted to stop at Godfather's Pizza while we were there. It was there that John's dad noticed our car was making a funny noise or something. So we went to the gas station and got some oil to put in our car. Not much longer, on the highway (late at night) we got a flat tire! It was similar to that movie, "A Christmas Story," and it took forever to get the tire changed. Finally, we were ready to drive 2 hours home on our spare tire. Good times.

Other misc. pictures

The Hercules/John Staredown
The Crocs at the St. Louis Zoo

Gabby feeding fishes

Gabby and John in Nauvoo.

Pictures of me With Other people

This cat just loves me. A little too much sometimes.

Johnny Angel

Diego Rivera, Mexican artist who brought his art to the masses with his frescoes.
His art tells the history of Mexico-instilling pride and a sense of beauty in Mexican life.

I just finished a class on Modern Latin America, and this is something I want to remember from the class.

So,
I finally weaned myself off of wellbutrin, and now I just have to get off of caffeine and sugar and I'll be good to go. I bought "Body for Life" at a yard sale for 25 cents today. I'm gonna see if any of these so called "health" books do any good. They all say I need to stop eating junk food. Shyeah...as if! It's really hard for me to not eat the sweets, therefore, I must be a sugar addict. Ah well. I hate the popular phrase usedin the weight loss bizz, "nothing tastes as good as it feels to be thin." I beg to differ, else I'd be thin.
But I have put on some weight here in the last while, and since the wellbutrin didn't help me take any off (what a crap load of wasted hopes that proved to be,) I will have to try the good, old fashioned way to lose weight: exercise and cutting back on tasty eats. I did read today that they actually use human hair in store-bought bread and pizza dough for a taste enhancer and preservative. Blech! If that is true, then I should be able to get off the bread. They actually grind up the hair and call it L-ceistine or something like that. Sick.
But yeah, this summer I think will be a good one. I'm actually beginning to like it here. I really like the neighborhood we live in. I don't really know any of my neighbors, but the houses and yards are soooo cute! I took a good long walk around the 'hood the other day and I must say, I was quite impressed with people's landscaping skills. Someday I'm going to have a well-manicured lawn and a well-groomed garden. It will also be in a yard with a patio built for patio furniture and a nice grill. Yep, I have plans all right; good plans.
My plans for my future rock. I'm finally going back to school this summer and I'm going to teach English in High School. This is my dream. Also, I still really really want to travel.
I would love to take my students on tours to Europe. Ummm.....so I am going to do that and it will be nice and lovely. As I looked through my folders and papers for Lit courses I've taken, I realized that I really dig being a student. I really miss it. One of my teachers kept writing on my assignments expressing how good a writer I am. That makes me happy. Although, I'm not sure whether she meant my writing skills are satisfactory or that she actually likes how I write.
Anywho, I'm going to start waxing prolific one of these days and turn out some kick-ass theme papers and stories. Yep, mmm hmmm, good plan. :)

Reminisce about the things you miss

I was driving to work today and I was thinking about High School. It made me laugh and I think I was happy for about a tenth of a second. But as soon as I realized it it was gone. I've been suffering from horrible withdrawals lately; rendering me meloncholy and agitated. See, I decided to get off my"happy pills" because the side-effects were no longer worth it to me. The problem is that it comes with horrible withdrawal symptoms. Yucky, no good. My brain felt strange. "It is strange and I am strange in it." Plus, I have horrible nightsweats and for a while there hot flashes. I thought I was the youngest woman to go through menopause. Panic attacks came back. It was all so very disconcerting. I don't like drugs. The problem is that I think I may need them. I'm going to try herbal sups and exercising. Something out there has got to work. Maybe the anti-depressants aren't all they're cracked up to be. Maybe Tom Cruise was right.


Anyway, back to my point, I was saying I think I may have felt happy for a little slice of time. High school. It's funny, you know. I remember that when I was in high school, I hated it, and looked so forward to the day I would be free from high school. Now, I miss it. I miss the mischief and fancy-free fun of my youth. I don't seem to really have fun anymore. I look back at high school, and even though I know I hated it, I don't seem to dwell on the negative things. I only think about the fun times I had.


I wanna go back. Honestly, I don't much care for it here, in St. Louis. Sucks, really. But I have to get past this. I have to put the horrible withdrawals behind me and find a way to beat these blues. All I ever want to do is go back. Back to Utah, New Mexico, Mexico, wherever I've been that I enjoyed. There's got to be a way out of this feeling. Things aren't so bad. It's just my brain that's a little messed up. Anyway, I'll keep this updated. Laters.

Why not give it a try?

I just wanted to check in. I have nothing to say at this point or time in my life. I'm wondering what I will eat for lunch today. Or should I save my appetite for dinner tonight? I'm cold here at work and I want to go shopping at Super Wal-Mart after I leave here. Not much to me, I guess. But I did read an awesome poem by Longfellow last night. I'm going to find it online so I can quote it correct.



"The day is done, and the darknessFalls from the wings of Night,As a feather is wafted downwardFrom an eagle in his flight.I see the lights of the villageGleam through the rain and the mist,And a feeling of sadness comes o'er meThat my soul cannot resist:A feeling of sadness and longing,That is not akin to pain,And resembles sorrow onlyAs the mist resembles the rain.Come, read to me some poem,Some simple and heartfelt lay,That shall soothe this restless feeling,And banish the thoughts of day.Not from the grand old masters,Not from the bards sublime,Whose distant footsteps echoThrough the corridors of Time.For, like strains of martial music,Their mighty thoughts suggestLife's endless toil and endeavor;And to-night I long for rest.Read from some humbler poet,Whose songs gushed from his heart,As showers from the clouds of summer,Or tears from the eyelids start;Who, through long days of labor,And nights devoid of ease,Still heard in his soul the musicOf wonderful melodies.Such songs have power to quietThe restless pulse of care,And come like the benedictionThat follows after prayer.Then read from the treasured volumeThe poem of thy choice,And lend to the rhyme of the poetThe beauty of thy voice.And the night shall be filled with musicAnd the cares, that infest the day,Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,And as silently steal away."

This isn't good, I didn't mean to distort it when I copied and pasted it to my blog. It's form is everything and now it doesn't even look like a poem. Bummer. I'll fix this later.

N'ERR!

Okay,
Really quick, I just wanted to add that I've been so spacy lately that I'm actually making up words and not noticing at first. The other day I was driving home through the St. Louis traffic. I hadn't had the most organized of days, and I actually thought, "Today is not my most sheveled day." ......SHEVELED? Yeah, I'm as sheveled as I am gruntled at work. Then I start asking why not. Why not sheveled? Why must my life always be so disheveled? I'm going to start getting more shevel in my life. I'm going to stop hoarding and holding on so dearly to all my junk. Now, the only trick is to see if I can get my husband on board with me. Oh, and we're both going to read more books and critique them on my blog. I stole that idea from my sister's blog.

On another note: Things we hate our managers/bosses at work to say:

• Moving Forward
• This is critical
• This is top priority
• We just need to get all our ducks in a row
• We really need to really be working on getting that Customer Service right
• The cost of cheese went up 15 cents this week

My husband and I work for the same company. The VP and Director of Operations never stepped foot into college. I'm not sure they even made it to the end of High School. Im willing to bet they never done been to English class anyway. The whole company is kind of a joke, really. But it's kinda entertaining sometimes, for that very reason.